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Many people, upon quitting an unfulfilling job or leaving a
draining relationship, feel a sense of relief. There may be some
anxiety and uncertainty about what to do next, but the feeling of relief
is very strong. “Wow, I can breathe again! I’m glad that’s finally
over! Time to move on to a new chapter of my life!” Relief feels like a
heavy weight has been set down.
Some people think they can attract what they want while
continuing to tolerate the negative elements from their lives. This is a
mistake. Again, tolerance is resistance, and resistance keeps you
stuck. When you resist what is, you can’t create and attract what you
want. That resistance you feel acts like a delete key on all your best
intentions.
The first step in resolving incompatibilities is to stop
saying yes to them. Just stop. Accept that you don’t want what you’ve
been getting, and realize that it makes no sense to keep saying yes to
what you don’t want.
If someone asks you to do something that doesn’t feel right
to you, say no. That may feel very uncomfortable at first, but there
will also be a twinge of relief each time you do it.
When you get that twinge of relief, it means you’re on the
right path. If you decline something you really should have accepted,
you’ll feel more guilt and disappointment than relief.
If you know you’re in the wrong business, for example, then
stop saying yes to new clients. Stop marketing and promoting the
business. Stop pouring your energy into something you know you don’t
want. I know — some people will be upset by this. So what? Let them be
upset, and do it anyway.
When you know you’re on the wrong path, stop. Just stop.
Don’t take any more steps along that path. Just stand still for a while,
even if it means your life starts to fall apart a little. You’ll
survive.
After you’ve stopped saying yes, your energy will rise to
the point where you’re ready to commit to quitting. You may not be ready
to say, “I quit,” right this minute, but you know you’ll get there
soon. You know it’s inevitable.
You may give yourself a specific deadline to quit, but that
isn’t always necessary. The most important element is that you’ve
reached the point where quitting is a done deal. Whatever
incompatibilities you’re facing must go. Their days are numbered.
Once you’ve stopped saying yes, the death of the old
becomes a certainty. It’s only a matter of time before it dies on its
own. Once you’ve stopped putting fresh energy into a career,
relationship, or activity, it’s on its way out. The only question is how
long you’ll remain in this limbo state before you’re able to fully
leave.
Quitting is an essential part of transitioning. If trying
to “transition” has been keeping you stuck, then focus your energy on
quitting instead. Make a commitment to quit the old, even before you’ve
figured out what the new will be.
Eventually we must say a firm “I quit” to incompatibilities
we’ve been tolerating. It can take a while to build up to this stage,
but if we’ve worked through the first two stages, this stage is
inevitable. In fact, this step is often a non-event.
It may still take some courage to get yourself to finally
say, “I quit” to what you know you don’t want, but by this point it has
become a necessity. The desire to quit has probably been building for
quite a while. When you finally cross the line, there’s a great feeling
of relief and a sense of new possibilities.
Don’t let fear stop you from extricating yourself from what
you don’t want. If you know you don’t want it, you’re going to have to
quit. The longer you remain stuck, the worse it is for you. Your inner
self will keep nagging at you. You’ll be stuck dealing with a lot of
negative emotions until you summon the courage to kick the
incompatibilities out of your life.
Don’t get so attached to your status and your stuff that
you can’t quit what you’ve been tolerating for too long. Your job title,
money, and possessions won’t give you much comfort. Better to lose all
of that than suffer through a phony life that just isn’t you. If you
can’t make money authentically and without lowering your consciousness,
it’s better to be broke for a while.
If you ever get tempted to lower your consciousness (by
tolerating parts of your life instead of loving them) in exchange for
more money, security, or comfort, realize you’re about to step foot
through the gates of hell. It’s a trap that can see you wallowing in
negativity for years to come.
When you quit something you’ve been tolerating, whether it
be a job, a relationship, a bad habit, or an unhealthy diet, you raise
your energy and your consciousness. This enables you to imagine, intend,
attract, and receive what you really do want.
You won’t be able to attract what you want while you’re
still tolerating what you don’t want. You have to say “I quit” first.
This is life’s test of courage. If you can’t summon the courage to quit
what you know you don’t want, you certainly won’t have the strength to
receive and hold onto what you do want. So you have to pass through this
qualification test first. I know it sucks to have to go through it, but
it’s there for a good reason.
When you ask for what you want, you can expect some
resistance to come up. You may have a financial setback or a health
problem that makes you want to run back to what you know, even if it
isn’t what you want. If you do that, however, you’re proving you aren’t
ready to receive what you want. You can’t hold onto what you want if
you’re going to run back to what you don’t want every time life throws a
little obstacle your way.
The real test is whether you will choose to resonate with
courage or fear. If you choose fear, you aren’t ready to have what you
want. If you choose courage, you demonstrate your readiness. Courage is
the ability to choose love rather than fear, regardless of
circumstances. When you’re able to choose love no matter what, then
you’re finally ready to receive what you’re asking for.
Another word for tolerance is cowardice. I know that sounds
harsh, but it’s fairly accurate. If you’re experiencing what you don’t
want, it’s because you’re allowing it. You remain free to choose
something else. The question is whether you’ll step up and claim it… or
chicken out and tell yourself it’s too big or that you aren’t ready or
that you can’t possibly make it happen. That’s cowardice.
If your life isn’t filled with what you love, who chose
that? Who’s choosing it right now? Who’s free to say no at any time?
Who’s responsible for fixing it? If you can’t say no to what you don’t
want, then how are you supposed to experience what you do want? If you
want to travel the right path for you, then isn’t it reasonable to stop
taking steps along the wrong path first?
If you’re experiencing what you don’t want, then stop
choosing to experience it. Quit. Leave. Stop. Enjoy the sense of relief
that comes from releasing what you don’t want. This is much better than
dying a slow death on a path you don’t even want to pursue.
If you don’t want it, let it go. Say goodbye to the old with love, so you can say hello to the new with love.
If you take this simple advice and follow it for a period
of years, you’ll soon find that your life is filled with what you love
instead of what you tolerate. But eventually you’ll be guided in yet
another direction, and it will be time for another round of releasing.
This process never ends because it’s necessary for us to grow. We can’t
grow if we keep repeating the same experiences over and over. We must
continue to engage new energies that bring us fresh growth experiences
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