Recovering from a break-up

Healing from the wounds of a broken relationship is difficult. If you’ve been in a long term relationship or been living with your partner, it could mean a change in your lifestyle. You may feel differently depending on whether you’ve been ‘dumped’ or you did the dumping. People who have been through both say that being dumped is much worse – not surprisingly. It’s a blow to your self-esteem. In either case though, it’s not easy.

Tips for breaking up

Here are some tips on how you can cope with your break-up:

• Think but don’t obsess over what went wrong. It’s great to take notes from your past. Don’t fight your feelings. Let them ooze out. It can be hard to stop thinking about it, but try to think about other things as much as you can. Remember that your end goal is to move on.
  
• Meet with friends and share your feelings. There’s no better cure to a broken heart than sharing your feelings with good friends. You can meet for an evening beer or wine and pour your heart out.
  
• Get rid of negative emotions. A while after you’ve broken up, if you still feel angry with your ex, tell yourself it’s time to let go because it’s in the past now. Get rid of things that remind you of your partner – things like the gifts they gave or cards they made. It’s sad but it can help you move on.
  
• Care for yourself. Eat well, sleep well and exercise. Do things that make you feel better – like taking a walk in the park or getting together with your family. When you’re hurting, you need to do things that will minimise the pain. A little bit of tender loving care will go a long way in the process of healing.

• Get a new hobby. Try learning how to play the piano or how to make Thai food. Go get yourself a new engagement to fill in spare time. Keeping your mind and body busy is an essential ingredient of healing. You might also meet new people with similar interests when you join a group or club.
  
• Be positive. It might sound unbelievable, but it is perfectly possible that you’ll find someone else who’d love you again.
  
• Watch out for signs of depression. If you think you’re falling into depression, let someone know. Get help. Contact helplines or counsellors. Below is a list that will help you.
  
• Don’t turn to drink or drugs. Stay away from alcohol and other un-prescribed drugs. They’ll do you more harm than help you heal. 
  

Helplines after break-up

And lastly don’t think twice about getting help from a professional, if you need it. Here are a few options: 

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