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"It's almost like when you can finally pee after holding it in too long."
For something humans have done since the dawn of
time, breastfeeding can feel strange at first, and even downright
painful. From nipple chafing, latching issues, making too much or not
enough milk, breastfeeding can also be anxiety-inducing. Your baby might
be born, but your body isn't done changing yet. Here, 11 mothers
explain exactly what it feels like to breastfeed.
1. "During the initial let-down [Editor's note: the let-down is the sensation of your milk flow starting], my breasts felt sort of like the way my stomach would drop on a rollercoaster. It
feels like a whirling dervish dancing from the top of my breasts and
making way towards my nipples — like the tingly feeling you get when
your foot falls asleep. Nursing also made me extremely thirsty during feedings and afterwards, so I'd always have to chug water." — Zlata, 35
2. "Breastfeeding
feels like a twenty-four-seven obligation where I'm at the mercy of my
breasts. Ultimately, I’ve committed to sacrificing my comfort for my
son’s wellbeing. I don't know how anyone can be offended by a literal miracle like breastfeeding.
I try to be respectful of others in public, but I honestly could not
care less if someone's feelings get hurt by it. It's an accomplishment
that I'm most proud of. As a black woman, breastfeeding often feels like
a privilege. I often seek out information [about breastfeeding], but
the pages and hashtags are usually consumed with women who look nothing
like me. It’s only until I narrow down my search to include the word
'black' that the results begin to feel inclusive. I use my own social
media as a way to be a resource for other women who feel like they don’t
see themselves. When I feed my son in public or if I seek out groups we
can join, there have been instances of verbalized pity, shock,
surprise, or condescending advice from other women. I often feel awkward
and a sense of pressure to be a 'poster child' of sorts for black moms
who are 'just like you' and breastfeed their babies too. It is
imperative to me that it be normalized because through this journey I
have learned just how uninformed most people are." — Gabrielle, 27
3.
"As cheesy as it sounds, it really is a wonderful way to bond with your
baby. There are, of course, some difficult parts too: like the pain of
the actual feeding, struggling to get your baby to latch [to your
nipple], or not producing enough milk for your baby. It is so defeating
when your baby is struggling to latch. They are hungry and crying and
you know you have the solution right there but their little mouths
haven't quite figured out what to do. Or they'll get distracted and pull
off and the baby gets a nice facial of breast milk! It's a wide range
of frustration, sadness, anger, and then sweet, sweet relief when they
figure it out — all of the emotions! Another surprise of breastfeeding:
everything I own is covered in a layer of breastmilk now: clothes,
furniture, etc. For me, I had a lot of milk so when the let-down happened, it would literally shoot out of my breast. It was a race to get the milk into the baby." — Madeline, 31
4. "At
first, it felt like my skin was actually being pulled off and it hurt
so much. It's like your skin is covered in scabs and everything feels
raw and open (it's not, but it just feels like it is), and then rubbed
with sandpaper. But, after only a week or so it starts to feel good!
Especially when it's been a few hours and your baby is ready to nurse
again — or if it's been a little too long and you're feeling 'full', it
can be so satisfying. It's almost like when you can finally pee after holding it in too long.
You can feel the pressure leaving. It honestly was almost shocking how
it could go from so painful to no pain at all so quickly."—Alessandra, 29
5. "I distinctly remember on the
second night wanting to cry because my nipples were overly sensitive and
tingly. My baby wanted to nurse non-stop, but that sensitive, tingly
feeling was making my stomach turn. It wasn't exactly painful, just an
uncomfortable feeling and my reflex was to want it to stop...but then
you have a crying baby. After two weeks, I felt like my nipples
desensitized enough and it became comfortable and enjoyable. From an
emotional perspective, I like sitting down with my daughter and taking
the time to cuddle and feed her. And physically, it's a soft, gentle
pulling sensation that is quite relaxing. After a couple of weeks, we
got into a comfortable rhythm. Childbirth and breastfeeding can
feel a bit invasive. You feel the conflict of your body not being your
own, and the love you have for your baby. Mentally, you want to
breastfeed, but I think it takes a little bit of time — at least the
first go around — for your body to get on-board with the physical side
of things."—Lucy, 27
6. "My nipples felt extremely sore for the first week or so when my babies were getting comfortable latching on. The times when it was painful in the earlier stages were also definitely times of bonding.
I still vividly remember seeing my babies looking up at me while
breastfeeding. In comparison, the memories I have from when I bottle-fed
are not as vivid. I also became much more aware of how my actions
directly affected my children as a breastfeeding mom. I will never
forget my daughter's pediatrician warning me that I couldn't eat pizza
anymore because the tomato sauce was irritating
my daughter's stomach. It was a sobering moment that made me realize I
was so connected to my babies, that even my food choices played a role
in their wellbeing."—Erica, 33
7. "Honestly, I hated it in the beginning. My nipples
were always sore and raw. Three days after giving birth, my breasts
became engorged [Editor's note: engorgement
is when breasts become "swollen, tender, and firm" following delivery].
That was in some ways more painful than birth itself. While I was able
to have an epidural [to ease labor pains], there was nothing
that would make the engorgement feel better. People recommended hot
showers or trying to pump a bit to relieve the pressure. The reality is
that I just needed to let the pain pass. Once I was able to regulate my
supply through a cycle of feeding and pumping, it started to get more
comfortable. I would use nipple butter for relief, which helped cool and soothe cracked nipples, but after about six or eight weeks, there was no longer any need. "—Dara, 34
8. "I had issues breastfeeding
when I got home from the hospital after giving birth. My nipples were
cracked and breastfeeding was super painful. As much as I wanted to give
up, I was determined, so I scheduled a home visit with a lactation
consultant. It made a huge difference. When you are breastfeeding
correctly you don't feel anything — you don't even feel the milk
draining from your breast. The baby is just suckling but there is no
pain is associated. You just look down and see a baby attached."—Jenelle, 28
9. "Usually
if I’m not paying attention, I don’t feel anything unless she pulls off
suddenly. When babies pull back while still latched, it feels like if
you got your nipple stuck in a zipper for a second. The pain doesn’t
linger, though, so as soon as she is off, it’s fine. Otherwise, once you
get used to it, the sucking is almost not even noticeable, especially
after the baby has latched for a couple of seconds. I know some
people can’t feel their let-down, but mine feels like someone is pushing
a square with sharp edges through a round tube for a few seconds, with the tube being my milk duct. It’s
not nipple pain at all, more like deep inside the breast and it only
lasts for a second. I still leak regularly and I can always tell when
it’s starting because I feel that weird sensation. "—Caitlin, 29
10. "The first time a baby latches on is one of the most painful things you'll ever experience. Babies' gums are strong even if they don't have teeth.
A couple of days of that leads to soreness, but then it subsides and
you fall into a rhythm. The let-down literally feels like how it sounds:
a feeling of a gush and a subsequent emptying out. I personally enjoyed
the quiet time alone with my babies when I breastfed and it was just me
and them. I had to make it a point to try not to multitask (it's very
tempting) and to turn my attention solely to the little person staring
up at me."—Kaamna, 38
11. "For something that is
supposed to be so natural, it was one of the hardest things I have ever
done. When I discovered the reason was that my son wasn't latching well,
I started exclusive pumping which felt like getting milked. [Editor's
note: exclusive pumping
is when a baby's diet consists of only bottle-fed milk, pumped from
their mother.] The pressure of a good breast pump is uncomfortable, and
made me feel like I was chained to a machine for hours at a time. A new
exclusively pumping mom needs to pump minimum eight times a day. It
also made me feel stressed: what’s my output? How many ounces? Why am I
an ounce lower than I was yesterday? Why is my right breast such a
slacker? These thoughts ran through my head all the time. Breastfeeding is an emotional roller coaster, but it’s so worth it."—Suzanne, 28
Answers have been condensed and lightly edited for clarity.
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