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When your heartache turns into a headache.
Breakups suck. They're the worst. The worst! The person doing the actual dumping is riddled with stress about when they're finally going to pull the trigger, and the person getting dumped is, well, getting dumped. The conversation itself is terrible, but even worse is the emotional aftermath, which lasts for approximately ??!?!??!?! time and has a way of creeping up to make a person feel like garbage when they least expect it.
As if the heartache weren't enough, the stress of a breakup can actually make you physically ill, as in "I have a fever and chills and am throwing up" ill. Mira Kaga, an internal medicine physician in New Jersey, shed some light on what the heck is going on inside your sad little post-breakup body that makes you feel so emotionally and physically terrible.
Your Hormones Go Haywire
As Dr. Kaga explained, breakups and other stressful situations, like a big meeting at work or final exams — can activate the body's fight-or-flight response, which is a survival response to stress that kicks the adrenaline and cortisol hormones into high gear. The release of those two hormones causes the immune system to take a hit. A decreased immune system makes us more susceptible to things like common colds or the flu.
It's not that a breakup gives a person a cold and a fever, but with all those stress hormones pumping through the body and decreasing the immune system's capabilities, it becomes a heck of a lot easier to catch a cold the body might've otherwise defeated.
Dr. Kaga used pregnant women as an example of how this manifests. "When we're pregnant and our immunity is not at 100 percent because our body is doing so many other things, it makes us much more vulnerable to illness," Dr. Kaga said. Basically, as the body is pumping out all those stress hormones, it has less energy to devote to fighting germs.
So in a sense, yes: It's normal to get something you could call a "breakup cold." But only because the stress of the breakup sends your body into a panic, and that panicked body is less likely to fight germs that get you sick.
Your Body Freaks Out in Other Ways
Mostly due to the same two stress hormones that mess with your immune system — adrenaline and cortisol — other physical symptoms of heartache can arise post-breakup. "Adrenaline is the hormone that keeps us on edge, keeps us anxious, keeps us unable to sleep," Dr. Kaga said. "Cortisol affects our sleep-wake cycle. It can prevent us from falling asleep, and it very much affects our appetite."
In her practice, Dr. Kaga said the most common symptom she sees from stress-related problems is lack of sleep, which can spur a bunch of other health problems. "It's a vicious cycle, because let's say that cortisol levels get elevated and we have a hard time falling asleep," she said. "That lack of sleep can cause us to be crankier, moodier, eat more, and it ends up being a really difficult cycle to break out of."
These hormone levels are truly what's at the root of the most annoying post-breakup habits. So at least take comfort in the fact that you're only hungrier than you've ever been and your sleep is suffering because your cortisol levels are probably high — not because you're trying to "eat away" the pain. And take even more comfort in the fact that, with time, your hormones will calm the eff down and things will normalize. But there are also things you can do to speed up that process.
How You Can (Try to) Avoid the Breakup Cold
Dr. Kaga said the most important thing you can do is be really self-aware about how your daily activities are changing after a breakup, or any other stressful thing. "It becomes really important to have an emotional understanding of what's going on," Dr. Kaga said. "Lifestyle changes, as part of the breakup process, often lead to decisions that are uncharacteristic, whether that's alcohol consumption, or making rash decisions that may have long-term health consequences."
Despite the urge you might feel to dive headfirst into a gallon of ice cream, try to eat as close to normal and healthy as you can in the aftermath of a breakup. Make a conscious effort to get more sleep. Find a routine and stick to it — basically, take extra special care of your body and don't push it too hard. The only thing worse than dealing with a broken heart is dealing with that plus a sickness when you've probably just cut your go-to "bring me soup!" person out of your life.
And Dr. Kaga also urged to bring little things like this up with your doctor. A breakup, especially a serious or complicated one, is a lifestyle change that clearly can have an impact on your physical health! Don't shy away from disclosing that info, especially if the breakup is landing you in urgent care with a fever.
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