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"With weed, I usually feel more sexy … and happy."
There's no question that taking drugs or drinking before you have sex has an effect on the, ahem, activities that follow. Surely this is something you've discussed among friends, but to give your next conversation about the nuances of sex under the influence a bit more weight, teams of researchers from New York University and Johns Hopkins University published two separate studies on the topic in the Archives of Sexual Behavior and Psychopharmacology.
The first study in Archives of Sexual Behavior is an in-depth, qualitative study that focuses on the details of how marijuana and alcohol affect sex, and followed the sex lives of 24 participants — 12 men, 12 women, all heterosexual — to glean information. The second from Psychopharmacology focuses on cocaine's effect on sex based on controlled administration of the drug to 12 participants who didn't know whether they were taking the drug or a placebo during the study.
Some of the surface findings seem cool and fun — people are more talkative! Sex lasts longer! People want to have sex more! Yay! But among the findings are the negatives you might expect: total memory loss from blacking out, feelings of regret, and people left wondering whether or not they'd used a condom. Some participants also discuss sexual encounters between two people who were clearly very drunk — which, legally, is a criminal act. (You have to be able to give consent, and you can't give consent if you're drunk.) So maybe don't use these studies as an excuse to try sex under the influence of every drug under the sun, especially illegal ones. Definitely don't. That being said: Here are 23 ways sex changes when you're high or when you're drunk.
1. Drinking makes you more outgoing and more likely to connect with potential partners. No surprise here.
2. But drinking led to more people choosing partners they may not normally pick. Palamar's team found a lot of negatives associated with being drunk or high before sex, but one of the biggest ones is that people who'd been drinking reported being more likely to choose an "atypical partner" or experience "post-sex regret." People commonly complained of things like seeing a partner "in the daylight" for the first time or feeling like they woke up to a "different person" after hooking up drunk.
3. People report feeling sexier after smoking or drinking. But especially after drinking. From the study: "One female stated she felt so attractive on alcohol that she feels she is the 'diva of the party,' yet another states she felt like the 'sexiest woman on the planet' while high on marijuana." Here's what one participant, a 32-year-old woman, had to say about how the two experiences compare: "When I'm drunk, I'm drunk, so I'm like, 'I'm hot.' Then with weed, I usually feel more sexy ... and happy. You usually feel a little sexier, a little bit more turned on and ready to have sex, instead of being self-conscious."
4. Sometimes, smoking makes people feel more insecure. One man from the study said that drinking helps "numb" his insecurities, but, in his experience, smoking can sometimes increase his body image issues.
5. Smoking tends to make people clam up. As in, they are quieter than normal and a bit less social.
6. People have sex longer when they've been drinking. Because of a feeling of desensitization after drinking, participants reported "prolonged intercourse" when alcohol is involved. Some people said they really enjoyed this, but one woman pointed out that this can become painful after a while.
7. Sex while you're high feels much more intense and compassionate. While being high warps the participants' sense of time (making 15 minutes feel like an hour in some cases), many said the orgasm they experience during high sex is more intense than a drunken or sober orgasm. They also said the orgasm tends to come much quicker. One woman also said she feels "very sensual" when she's high.
8. Both alcohol and weed lead to sexual dysfunction. Men said alcohol made it more difficult to get hard, and some women said weed makes it harder to get "naturally lubricated."
9. Some people can't focus enough to orgasm at all when they're high. Some women said they just couldn't quite get there when they were high, simply because it was too hard to focus.
10. But men said they just regret the women they pursued while they were drunk. Fun! So, while women are feeling bad about themselves for having sex, men tend to feel bad about who they had sex with. "Oh, so much regret for alcohol," said one 20-year-old man. "Sometimes I hook up with girls I wouldn't normally have while sober."
This post was originally published in 2016 and has been updated.
6. People have sex longer when they've been drinking. Because of a feeling of desensitization after drinking, participants reported "prolonged intercourse" when alcohol is involved. Some people said they really enjoyed this, but one woman pointed out that this can become painful after a while.
7. Sex while you're high feels much more intense and compassionate. While being high warps the participants' sense of time (making 15 minutes feel like an hour in some cases), many said the orgasm they experience during high sex is more intense than a drunken or sober orgasm. They also said the orgasm tends to come much quicker. One woman also said she feels "very sensual" when she's high.
8. Both alcohol and weed lead to sexual dysfunction. Men said alcohol made it more difficult to get hard, and some women said weed makes it harder to get "naturally lubricated."
9. Some people can't focus enough to orgasm at all when they're high. Some women said they just couldn't quite get there when they were high, simply because it was too hard to focus.
10. But men said they just regret the women they pursued while they were drunk. Fun! So, while women are feeling bad about themselves for having sex, men tend to feel bad about who they had sex with. "Oh, so much regret for alcohol," said one 20-year-old man. "Sometimes I hook up with girls I wouldn't normally have while sober."
This post was originally published in 2016 and has been updated.
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