by
Even
though many women love to be identified with large B00bs, there are
certain inconveniences that having big B.reasts can bring.
file photo
1. You can’t wear B.utton down shirts because the
B.uttons gape open and you basically look semi-Nakked. One time I
realized this was happening 30 minutes into a work meeting. It’s like
having spinach in your teeth, but B00bs.
2. It’s impossible to find cute bras that fit. All
the lacy balconette bras Victoria’s Secret models wear? Look away —
because YOU get a giant grandma support bra with two-inch-wide beige
straps.
3. No bathing suits fit. Ever. Not one pieces, not two pieces, not red pieces, not blue pieces.
4. People (even those who don’t know you well!)
say things to you (even in casual conversation!) like, "Have you ever
thought about getting a B.reast reduction?" No, have you ever thought
about getting a nose job? Maybe you could at least turn around and go
check your nosiness at the door, then?
5. People ask you if your back hurts. While I
realize this is an issue for some women, it’s weird when people assume
that something I actually like about my body is a disability.
6. Everyday exercises are basically not possible. There is thismuch space between my B00bs and the floor during a push-up.
7. You have to wear more than one sports bra if
you’re going to attempt to work out. Sometimes two, sometimes — UGH —
three. Sometimes you wish you could temporarily mummify your B00bs just
for your workouts.
8. You automatically look $exual in everything you
wear. Your average American Eagle V-neck or henley looks cute and
casual on medium- and small-busted girls but inevitably looks like some
"da club" outfit on you.
9. You look especially $exual in bathing suits.
There is soooo much cleavage. Even in a one-piece bathing suit you look
like you’re trying to get cast in the Hooters calendar.
10. People ask what size bra you are. Both men and
women. This is weird and rude. I don’t go around asking you how much
you, like, weigh.
11. Guys pay too much attention to your B00bs in
bed, as if assuming that big B00bs automatically equate to "extremely
sensitive clitoris-like pleasure appendages." Not true.
12. You are constantly bothered by dressing advice
for "curvy" figures because the advice is always bullSh!t. Like that
thing about belting things at the waist? You look like you’re presenting
your B00bs on a platter.
13. You can never wear anything backless. You
basically cry while watching the Oscars red carpet, jealous of all the
side boob you will never flaunt.
14. You can’t wear any bridesmaids dresses because
they’re ALWAYS strapless. Damn you brides and your strapless dress
leanings. DAMN YOU.
15. You can’t wear blazers. Because they all gape
open at the bottom so that your torso looks like a big bell. That cliché
work advice about just throwing on a blazer over your dress for your
job interview is, to you, fake.
16. You can only wear bib necklaces. Because long ones dangle off the precipice of your B00bs like a cat toy.
17. Cross body bags awkwardly snuggle up to your armpit. Like you’re nursing a baby.
18. You look positively beastly if you’re cut off mid-boob in a photo.
19. You feel special kinship with Kate Upton. She can go right on with her busty self.
20. You always wonder what Christina Hendricks has
going on underneath her clothes. Because her rack defies all big boob
physics, as you — one owner of big B00bs — has come to understand them.
21. You are horrified of the idea of being pregnant because even though you love your big B00bs, they are big enough.
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